Index

15:   An Imagined Interchange

A t a recent computer expo  (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry  with the auto industry and stated, “If  GM had kept up with technology  like the computer industry has, we  would all be driving $25 cars that got  1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response, General Motors issued a  press release stating: “If GM had  kept up with technology like Micro- soft, we would all be driving cars  with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your  car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines  on the road, you would have to buy  a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die  on the freeway for no reason. You  would have to pull to the side of the  road, close all the windows, shut off  the car, restart it, and reopen the  windows before you could continue.  For some reason you would simply  accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a  maneuver such as a left turn would  cause your car to shut down and  refuse to restart, in which case you  would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that  was powered by the sun, was reliable,  five times as fast and twice as easy to  drive – but would run on only five  percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and  alternator warning lights would all be  replaced by a single “This Car Has  Performed An Illegal Operation”  warning light.

7. The air-bag system would ask,  “Are You Sure” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason  whatever, your car would lock you  out and refuse to let you in until you  simultaneously lifted the door handle,  turned the key and grabbed hold of  the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to  learn how to drive all over again  because none of the controls would  operate in the same manner as the  old car.

10. You’d have to push the “start”  button to turn the engine off.

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